Set Fire To The Rain
by adii1201
Summary: Maybe relief isn't the right word. Lynette-Tom post season finale. Spoilers!
1. Chapter 1

_Set Fire To The Rain_

**Disclaimer**: If _Desperate Housewives_ was mine, Lynette and Tom would've never broken up.

**A/n**: I don't know where it's going to go, this fic I mean. I'm having so many stoylines in my head since the finale, I just really needed to get some of it on paper. This is a draft and I'm just going to go along with it. I have no idea how long it'll turn out to be and I don't know how it'll end, but I do hope it will calm that desperate need to change what they did in the finale.

Please, I would really like to know what you think!

-Adi.

_Chapter 1: Many Shades Of Black_

In one month Lynette had managed to lose about 10 pounds and drink about 8 bottles of tequila. It goes like this: During the day she's so busy working and taking care of the house and the kids that she forgets to eat. And when she finally has time for herself, she picks up the phone and Renee's over there in a matter of minutes, a tequila bottle in one hand and two shot glasses in the other. Each night Lynette would pour one more shot, saying that the amount she had yesterday wasn't enough to kill the pain and make her forget.

Tom on the other hand chose to drown himself in work and took on a project that demanded his presence in Europe.

They didn't talk. He called the kids, that she knew. But he never once bothered to pick up the phone and call her. She couldn't quite decide if it was good or bad. But it was Tuesday's noon when she opened the door to find him there that she realized there was simply no amount of tequila to numb what she was feeling at that moment.

_"Wh… What are you doing here?"_

_"I just landed, I wanted to see the kids"_

_"It's early, they're still in school"_

He checked his watch _"You're right. Sorry, I still have jet lag. Do you mind if I'll wait for them?"_

_Yes. I mind_ she thought. She was blindsided. He could've called the kids and come pick them up. He could've called her to tell her he's about to show up at her door. But they haven't spoken in a month and she's just supposed to let him in now and then what? She has nothing to say to him, not now. And yet she found herself shifting, showing him the way in and saying _"Yeah, sure, come on in"_ and for a split second she thought she didn't really say it, but then he walked in and she closed the door behind him, cursing herself for doing that.

_"You want coffee?"_ she was desperate to make any casual conversation to avoid the one subject they both didn't want to bring up.

_"Yes please"_.

She had to stand on her toes to reach the cups. They didn't have enough room, and Tom was always the one to get them for her when she made coffee, it didn't matter so much. And ever since he left she thought about moving them to a lower shelf but couldn't do it, but now she wished she had. She realized how stupid this must look to his eyes: her need to hold on to him as long as she could when there was a really good chance that he already let her go, just like he did when he left her. True, it was a mutual decision, that's what she's been trying to tell herself since that night. But truth is that she was sick and tired of constantly fighting with him and she really believed some time apart would do them well but now, being alone every day and every night, and not even talking to him, she was pretty sure it was just another one of the things Tom chose to run away from. He hated confrontations, he always let her do the dirty job. She never thought their marriage will turn out to be another one of those things. And she never thought she'd actually give in and run away from it just like he did.

Too lost in her thoughts, his voice sounded far away when he said _"You lost weight"_. But she turned around, the cups still not in her reach _"Yeah" _she smiled.

She turned around again, stretching a bit more this time. Her shirt went up a little and she could feel his eyes on her. Finally, giving in, she turned around to face him _"Stop staring!"_

_"I'm just wondering how did you get that giant blue mark on your back"_

_"Oh that"_ she said, checking it out again. She kind of forgot it was there. It really hurt when it happened, but that was a week ago. _"I tried to change the light bulb in the bedroom and I fell"_

_"Why are you doing this alone?"_ He asked, and he was a little mad at that moment.

_"Because you're not here?"_ she answered, cynical.

He wanted to tell her she should've called him and ask him to come help her, but that thought passed as fast as it arrived. As if Lynette would give up her pride and say that she needs help. This was just one of the many reasons he wasn't there in the first place to help her. But it didn't occur to him that maybe, just for once, it wasn't about her pride, but about her feelings. And yet he still managed to let go of this, standing up and getting the cups for her. _"Well, I'm here now, so what needs to be fixed?"_ he asked insignificantly.

She suddenly realized just how close he was standing. She could smell him, his cologne mixed with a scent of someplace that wasn't _home_. And for a second there she was sure she forgot to breathe. Her eyes filling with tears, her desperate need to push away all the thoughts that ran through her mind. Instead she whispered _"Me"_ and ran upstairs to lock herself in her bedroom. As she sat there and cried she made it a mental note to tell Renee to bring some more drinks with her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I'm not Marc Cherry, nor do I wish to be. _Desperate Housewives_ is not mine.

**A/n**: Wow. Thank you so so so much for all the reviews. You simply keep me going. I'm far too lost in this one, and like I said it's really just a draft. More like taking all the thought I have running in my head and just writing. Whatever comes out. So reading that you're enjoying this, well, that really makes me happy! I hope this one will live up to your expectations, and anyway I would really like to know what you think, so just click "review". Thanks!

-Adi

_Chapter 2: Where Love Is Lost_

It was 2 AM. Her cell phone was ringing. She sighed. It's not like she was sleeping anyway. She saw his name on the screen and for a few seconds she thought about not answering. Finally deciding to take the call, she told herself it was because she's worried something might have happened, and not simply because she needed to hear his voice.

"_Lynette?"_

"_Is everything ok?" _She asked, wishing to brush away the concern from her voice, yet failing.

"_Yes, I just couldn't sleep."_

"_I can't sleep either."_

"_Look, I'm sorry about yesterday."_

"_Could we please not talk about that?"_

_No, we can't. Let's talk about it! For once in your life tell me how you feel_. He was fighting the urge to tell her just that. He wanted to talk about it, he wanted to hear her say that she needs him, that she's hurting. He wanted her to admit that she's not so strong right now. He needed to hear her talk. He needed to talk too. They've been so apart for months now, screening what they want to say. What they need to say. But she was always like that. He always had to guess with her. It's true that by now he read her like a book, but for once he just wished he could lie back and _listen_.

After a moment of silence she finally said his name.

"_Yeah"_

"_How did we get here? I mean, we've been through so much. We always had fights. But at end of the day, no matter what, we worked things out. And I always thought that it was because we loved each other so much, and love was enough to keep us together. But look at us now Tom. So far apart, hurting each other. And I haven't stopped loving you, so is love not enough? Or have you stopped loving me?"_

It was as if someone punched him. It was as if his whole world just collapsed. He knew the answer to her last question; he had no doubt about it. He still loved her just as much. And yet he wondered, just like she did, why can't they get passed this _"I love you, of course I do"._

"_But you love your job a lot more."_

He could've sworn that the bitterness in her voice would cut through glass._ "What? Lynette, that's not true!"_

"_Isn't it? The minute things got tough around here you ran away. And I know, you don't like dealing with these things. But I always hoped that our marriage won't be something you'd rather run away from than fight for. You never even tried to show me I was more important. And I know you think I wanted you to quit, but I didn't. I wanted you to be around more. And when you tell me you can't, even if the price is our marriage, then…"_

That was the moment. He could tell her she wasn't supportive, that she resented his success, the powerful man he is now. That this was the real reason she was so angry at him. But then he thought about that night that she called him at work to tell him she misses him; Or that morning she was so sick she couldn't get out of bed but he left for work; Or that dinner he missed that was so important because they celebrated the big test the twins finally passed. And even on their weekend away, where he said he's taking it seriously, that he wants to fix it, he couldn't stop thinking about the office, telling himself that it was such a waste of time taking this weekend off when he had so much work. Maybe she was right after all. Maybe he started taking her for granted. Maybe he really did love his job more. But as he sat on his bed in this big empty apartment that his _job_ provided him he knew that he wouldn't think twice if she'd tell him to choose between her and this job. _"I don't love my job more than I love you, I don't"_ he finally said, but it was all too little too late. She was silent on the other end of the line _"Are you crying?"_

She nodded, as if he could see her through the phone. She wished he could have. Maybe then he would've seen how devastated she was. Maybe then he would've tried harder to convince her she's still the one and only for him. Maybe he would've come over, wipe away the tears, take her in his arms and make everything better. Maybe.

At some point they both fell asleep. The call still running, it was almost as if they were together for that night. But she fell asleep crying and he, he fell asleep to have his dreams of not saving her haunting him all night. Being apart was awful. Losing each other completely was simply unbearable.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** I'm editing vids with _Desperate Housewives_ and I'm writing fics with _Desperate Housewives_ but it still isn't mine.

**A/n:** I'm trying to find the time to actually sit down and write this one. And I keep telling myself that if I don't write it down, I'll forget what it was that I wanted to write in the first place! So I'm sorry for taking so long, life is kinda crazy around here lately.

Thanks again for all of you who review, you make my day and my night and I'm happy! Do the same with this chapter and I'll be super happy!

-Adi.

_Chapter 3: When We Fell Something Died_

The clock showed 23:50. It was her birthday. Whatever's left of it. She had a fun day. Her children cooked her breakfast and her friends took her out to dinner and drinks. As much as it was a welcome change in her daily routine, she couldn't stop thinking about him. She wondered if maybe, just maybe, he would stop by, or call, just to wish her happy birthday.

She was sitting on the couch in the living room. Parker and Penny were sound asleep for hours now. The house was quiet. 23:53. He's not coming. She signed. Standing up, she went to turn off the lights, heading upstairs. And there was a knock on the door. Her heart sank. It had to be _him_. But she froze. _What if it wasn't?_ She closed her eyes. She had to answer the door. It wouldn't be the end of the world if it wasn't him. _Yes it would, who am I kidding?_

Standing at the doorway of his own house, waiting for her to answer the door, it felt too weird. Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Maybe she doesn't even want to see him. Maybe the gift he brought wasn't as good as it was in his head when he first thought about it 3 months earlier.

But then the door opened. He smiled. She smiled back, though really she felt like crying. He was there, he really came. But what did that mean? She really didn't feel like going there. Not tonight. Not now that he was there.

"_Happy birthday"_ he handed her a bag. She didn't bother to look inside before putting it down on the floor. After all, him being there was the best birthday present she could ask for. She threw her arms around his neck and his hand immediately wrapped around her. _"Hi"_ she breathed on his lips before kissing him. Lips so soft, tongues dancing over one another, his hands roaming up and down her back. It was perfect. It was everything they both wanted, everything they both needed in such a long time. It was just as if nothing has changed, as if they never spent time apart.

She backed away slowly. She was out of air, and so was he. But he pecked her lips for an undeterminable amount of times and she didn't resist. It was her birthday and she didn't care about anything. But as everything else, they both knew this had to come to an end. And he wasn't going to come inside. They weren't about to spend the night together. He had to drive back to his apartment. And she had to spend another cold night without him next to her. At the age of 10 she finally realized that birthday wishes never come true. No matter how hard she blew the candles. So they said goodbye and she closed the door. She watched him as he slowly walked to his car and drove off. She wondered if there was a way for things to be different, even for just this one day.

Taking the bag, she went to her bedroom and sat on her bed. She stared at the wrapped box for a long time before finally deciding to open it. Slowly opening the cover she revealed a whole life in one box: Her engagement ring with the old rock; the something blue she lost at their wedding; the key to the first house they rented as a married couple; the drawings of her belly growing when she was pregnant with the twins; their kids' photo album she never got to finish; the shoes she wore for their 9th anniversary; a picture of them together with her favorite kerchief; the last ultrasound she had, still with Patrick; One of Paige's onesies; The last picture they took before everything went to hell. It was perfect and yet she sat there and cried. Her whole life summed up to one box and she wanted so badly to know the end. To see the future, 10 or 20 years from now and know that this box will be filled with many more memories of them together. She refused to picture her life going on without him. She refused to make new memories that didn't include him. She refused to let him go.

She took her phone and texted him "_Thank you for the gift. It's almost everything I ever wanted. –L"._ It was a long 10 minutes until he texted her back "_I'm glad you liked it. Happy birthday. Love you. –T."_ And it was enough to make her burst into tears. This was them, right then and there. _Why couldn't they just be them, like that, and put all the problems aside?_

On his apartment, sitting alone, he wondered exactly the same. He typed that text and sent it without even thinking. It was so usual, so normal, that he didn't give it another thought. _I love you_ was something random for him. Even now, 38 days apart, it still felt right to say that. And he had to stop and think if it was just a habit, or if he truly loved her, still. The problem wasn't to answer this question. The problem was to find why they're not in the same bed when the answer was _yes_.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Never going to be mine.

**A/n:** I'm so so so sorry for taking forever to upload this one. My life is a complete chaos right now and I really didn't find the right time or the right state of mind to sit down and write this one. I guess it turned out to be such a mess because that's what my head is like. I'm not sure I made peace with it, so maybe I'll rewrite this one one day, who knows.

I wanted to let you know that I bumped the ratings to **M**, mostly because of this chapter, so if you don't like it feel free to skip this one.

Plus, for all of you who are reading _Ryeloza's_ fic (for those of you who aren't- do yourself a favor and go read it. Them, all of them!), we sometimes think alike, but she's a much better writer than I am. Just wanted to say that.

Many thanks again for all the reviews, I really appreciate you making the time to comment and let me know what you think. Keep it up please!

_Chapter 4: The Darkest Of My Days_

He was standing with the fridge door open and stared. There was nothing there but a few bottles of beer and some leftovers from the take out he ordered 2 weeks ago. He sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was go out to buy groceries, but his kids were coming and he had to cook something. He never forgot the visits to his dad's house after his parents' split. He always had take out to serve them and they always ate alone. For some reason, his dad always had to be somewhere- watching a very important game, an urgent call from work, tickets to a play he bought so long ago and "forgot" that he actually can't go. Tom always felt so unwelcomed there, that when he and Lynette broke up he swore to never do it to his children. He actually did want to see them and spend time with them.

He finally finished cooking when there was someone at the door. _Right on time_ he thought. But then he opened the door to find her there.

"_What are you doing here? Where are the kids?"_

She let herself in. Reading her body language, she was clearly upset. _"They're not coming"_

"_What? Why?"_

She gave him that look. That look that said that she was furious. The one that meant he should stay away and wait for the storm to pass. Of course, at the stage they were, he wasn't going to do anything she wanted him. Even if it meant they're going to have a fight. A really big one.

"_I don't know why, they're not really talking to me."_

"_What do you mean they're not talking to you?"_

"_Ever since you left Penny's crying herself to sleep; Parker's closed up in his room all day and the twins are screening my calls"_

"_You're their mother for god's sake. Do something about it_." Now it was just too late, and he knew it. He couldn't care less. He was finally saying what he wanted, not giving a shit if it's gonna hurt her or not.

"_And you're their father but you walked away remember? God I can't believe what you've turned into. Look at yourself, I don't even know who you are anymore!"_

"_Here it is, come on, say it. You can't deal with who I am"_

"_I don't want to! You lost everything that made you different, everything that made me fall for you! God, I wouldn't even breathe your way right now."_ She was firing back, because that's the best thing she knew how to do. Truth is he changed, and he did become this jackass that she just hated. But somewhere deep down she knew he was still him, still who he always was. And she thought, no, hoped, that if she'd be harsh he would finally see what she's been trying to tell him for months now.

But it did the opposite. Her words were enough to light something inside of him and he snapped. He was going to prove her wrong. He grabbed her hands and slammed her against the wall behind her. She gasped. He didn't realize it had more to do with him hurting her, rather than with her being surprised by his actions. Not that he cared anyway. He began kissing her and it was nothing but gentle. His tongue was practically fighting with hers and he pressed his body against hers, barely letting her breathe. She tried to push him away, asking him to stop, to let go of her, but he didn't hear her. He ripped her shirt and unhooked her bra and began to kiss his path to her breasts. He couldn't actually remember the last time he touched her like this. Not that they ever had sex while being so angry. Not that he ever ignored her pleads to be free. He sucked her nipple as his tongue drew lazy eights around it, and his hand squeezed her other breast. She moaned. And it was all he needed to keep him going, because finally she wanted the same thing that he did.

He took her pants off and while planting kisses all over her stomach he got rid of her underwear as well. He got down on his knees and urged her to open her legs. She did. And then his mouth was on her, and for the first time in so long she felt so great. She wanted to cry, and she didn't know if it was because it was so fucking good, or because she wanted to hit him so hard.

He licked her and sucked her, while his fingers where pushing deep inside of her, almost pushing over the edge. _"Oh fuck! Yes! Oh, god, don't stop!"._ He didn't. He bit her clit and it was enough to make her explode, to lose control completely. She screamed as her whole body quivered, as her legs could barely keep her standing. And it was absolutely amazing.

When she finally met his eyes again he was already naked. She reached down to his cock and she shivered at the feeling of him so hard in her hands. She actually managed to forget what it feels like. He batted her hands out of the way and took hold of his cock. He ran it over her before he tried to push in. It took him several tries because it's been way too long, and when he was finally inside of her the look on her face told him she was in pain. And it suddenly hit him what she was talking about all this time – that change she kept saying he went through – because as he stood there, knowing that he's hurting her, he did nothing to make it stop. He wanted this, he was so hard, he had to be inside of her, he had to fuck her and he couldn't care less if she wanted this too, or if she was hurting or not. Selfishness was something he never had before. Hurting her like that was something he never thought he could do.

He began to move, pounding into her so hard that her head hit the wall every single time. By now she was working into his rhythm, panting and sweating, just like he was. _"Oh god, oh god, oh god!"_ she screamed. And then he slowed down, his lips close to her ear _"You might not have breathed my way, but you let me fuck you…"_ he whispered. He looked at her and he was pretty certain that she would burn him with her eyes, and then he felt her nails digging into his back and he knew that she was fighting back. He was pounding hard into her again, hitting her spot again and again, as she stretched her muscles around him. _"Fuck, you're so tight" _he moaned.

He was the first one to lose control. He gushed into her, his juices filling her, mixing with hers. And it was enough to make her cum too, her pussy tightening around him, her eyes shut tight and a mumble of _"ohfuckyesgodsofuckinggood"_ escaping her mouth.

It took a while for them to calm down, and for Tom to pull out of her and step back. She began to get dressed, and he went to his room to get her a shirt. She was already at the door when she turned around to face him _"I miss the man I fell in love with so much"_ and all that anger that was buried inside just disappeared. There was something else there now- pain, and disappointment, and a genuine look that said she really meant it.

He shut the door and sank to the floor, covering his face with his hands, and began to sob. He was missing the man she fell in love with too, mostly because right now he hated the man he was.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I truly wish _Desperate Housewives_ was mine. But it's not, and Lynette and Tom have broken up.

**A/n**: You're so kind for sticking with me for this one, even though I'm taking so long to update. I don't think I like this chapter. It's a complete mess, but whatever. Like I said it first, I don't edit my thoughts, so bear with me please.

Thank you for all the lovely comments, I just need them to keep on writing! Please share your thoughts on this one with me!

-Adi

_Chapter 5: Losing Your Memory_

They had a talk that night. A long one. And it was just what they needed, to get it all out, to finally say everything out loud.

"_Tom, have you forgotten? I mean, everything? How you used to chase me until I finally agreed to go out with you; how excited I was when you proposed; the vows we wrote for our wedding; moving into this house; bringing our children back from the hospital; fighting over so many things and still finding our way back… Tom, we shared so much, we lived together for so long, and now… Now it feels like you're losing me, losing what we used to be. And I can't find the reason why, or the way to fix this. So I'm asking if you have forgotten all those things that made us who we are, if you let go of me."_

"_No, I haven't. I remember the long nights we had when the kids were so young; or the last trip we took on my boat before I had to sell it; And that terrifying moment when you didn't come out of the supermarket and I thought I lost you. I could never forget, never. I would never choose to lose you. But we're losing each other, drifting into a place that is so dark, so unfamiliar. Somewhere I can't find you, and it feels like I let you go so long ago that I just don't know where you are anymore."_

Silence. Neither of them knew what to say next. All these feelings, all these things that got them to the point of no return, to this place of standing next to each other and keeping a distance that was far too big. And this silence, always this silence surrounding them, covering them. Reminding them of all the things they wish to say but don't. Of all the things they should've said a long time ago but never did.

She didn't want to be the one to break the silence, but standing there with him, having this conversation, she had to say one last thing before she'd miss her chance once more. _"I… I wish I was really relieved when you left. I wish I wasn't lying to you that night. Maybe you would've stayed if you knew that when I didn't see your suitcase my heart sank and my tears choked me. I could barely stay standing and I was facing my biggest fear without knowing what to do next. When I walked in to see you, it felt like a mirage. And then you were gone again, and I let you do it. Lying, because I refused to let you see how bad you hurt me when you left, because I never wanted you to know just how much I need you in my life."_

She woke up as her alarm went off. She wanted to keep dreaming, to know the end of their story. To convince her once and for all to actually tell him that. But this story had no end and she was fighting her own demons for so long. And maybe it would've been different if she could say what she wanted, what she really felt. But outside of her dreams there was a different reality. One that was far from her pervious life, of the time she still had him. She was starting to admit to herself that she really broke apart the moment it all started, because this was the time she really lost him. By the time he moved out they were already far gone, apart. All the best of what they've done was somewhere she couldn't find, some place that was out of her reach.

He woke up sweating and panting. He was dreaming too, nightmares. Always the same dream since he left her. The one he had when his father left him. He was running and running with no end point, with no air to breathe. Looking for something, for someone but coming up short. Because this is how he felt, every single moment of being awake. Like he's chasing something that would never be in his reach. Like he wants to go back, and if he could only run faster, he could salvage the last moment of his life, of his future.

Loneliness. And the winter so cold. Maybe in summer… Maybe.

* * *

><p><strong>An: **Just to make it clear (because this chapter is really a mess), Lynette and Tom never really had the conversation. It was all her dream.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **_Desperate Housewives_ is about to come back, and it's the last season. Still, it's not mine.

**A/n:** God, I wish I would've had more free time to write. I sometimes forget what I want to write because I'm so swamped with life right now. So again, many thank yous to all of you who are reading, reviewing and being patient with me! I do hope to update more often!

Thanks for everyone who reviewed the last chapter! Please, if it's not too much trouble, let me know your thoughts on this one as well!

-Adi

_Chapter 6: She Who Dares To Stand Where I Stood_

The reason she was there in the first place was to finally open her heart to him. Not at his office, she just went there to tell him they need to talk. And even as she walked in and took the elevator up, she thought that this was a bad idea. All of it. She's not ready to say anything, and she probably never will. Yet she forced herself out of the elevator the moment it reached his floor. She had to do it, this might be the only way to let him know she wants him back.

He was standing with his back to her, talking to _her_. She was beautiful. Just his type. They shared a laugh. Lynette froze. _"So I'll see you tonight Holly?"_ he asked. _Holly_. A million different pictures ran through her mind that she didn't even hear the rest of their conversation, or noticed that Tom was now talking to her.

"_Lynette?"_

"_Yes"_

"_I asked what are you doing here"_

"_I… came to…"_

His eyes scanned her. Something was wrong, he could tell. He haven't seen or heard from her since that evening in his apartment. She was clearly mad. Or hurt. Either way, she avoided his calls and his visits. _"You know what, never mind"_ she said and began walking away. He grabbed her arm and pulled her back. _"Lynette."_

"_No, Tom, it was a mistake coming here."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because."_

He snorted. It was so like her to do that. To show up unannounced and then walk away. And it still made him mad, even though he was so used to her acting like that, he just wished for once she would stop doing that. _"Can you once, just once, not do that? God, you're driving me crazy with this. You come all the way here after I haven't heard from you in 3 weeks and then you run away. Oh you know what? Never mind, you won't understand this anyway."_

He walked away into his office when she followed him inside and slammed the door behind her. _"You think I'm running? You're the one to leave in the first place! How dare you accuse me of running when you'd rather go out with other women instead of fixing our problems!"_

"_I'm not…"_

"_I came here to tell you that I miss you, that I want you to come back, or at least to talk to you and try to work some of these things out, but there you are, setting up your date with her. Tom, we're separated, not divorced. You're still my husband and I don't remember we agreed on seeing other people. We took this time apart to fix this, to fix us, not to see if we can find something better. God, I can't even… You really don't want to make this work, so we might as well just meet up at the lawyer's office and sign the papers so we can both go on with our lives."_

As she was sitting at Renee's house and crying her eyes out, she couldn't help but think how stupid she was to even think about telling him how she really feels. Because it truly does come down to this: If she told him everything back at the time she still had a chance, maybe they could've solved most of their problems. Maybe she could've stopped this from turning into what it was now. But as always, she chose to hide behind these meaningless words that said nothing at all, these words that only served in making him angrier. But this, this was just too much for her. She could accept that he wants her to change. She could try and get used to the new him. She made a list last night of all the things she can do and willing to in order to make this work again, only to find out he gave up and moved on. _How could he?_

She was finally too tired to cry, too tired to think, too tired to deal with it all. Just, _too tired_. She drifted back to her past, this is where her dreams would take her these days, because the future only seemed to get more and more unclear.

He tried calling her, but she didn't pick up. And he was left with this fear that come morning and he will miss his chance to explain what happened.

It could be the darkness that made it all a whole lot scarier, or it could just be the fact that for the first time ever he wasn't so sure he's not about to lose her forever.

Could it be that love was black and white?


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** Given the fact that I'm starting to hate this show, I really don't want to make any claims to it.

**A/n:** God you have no idea how sorry I am for not updating. The thing is that when I did have the time I was so mad at Tom and I just didn't want to write this while being mad at him. I knew that soon enough I would stop being mad at him and go back to being mad at the writers. But by the time that happened I found myself in the middle of law school and, well, I basically stopped having a life! Adding to that the fact that my brother's getting married in 2 weeks, and that I stopped watching the show, I pretty much had to clear my day to write this one down.

I also indented for it to be the last chapter, but I'm not quite sure how I want to end this fic just yet, and I also think the last chapter should have a life of its own.

That being said, I still hope there are people reading this one! So for all of you who commented on the last chapter, thank you so so much! And for those of you who were patient, please let me know what you think about this one!

-Adi.

_Chapter 7: Under Your Thumb I Can't Breathe_

The sun was flickering through the shutters and she was reminded that it was a brand new day. Soon after that she was reminded it was his day with the kids and he's suppose to come pick them up. He was the last thing she wanted to see. Knowing she had to, she got up and got dressed when she very quickly noticed her wedding ring. She had been wearing it for so long now that it didn't feel out of place, that she didn't really pay much attention to it, even though they were apart for so long. But looking at it now, thinking about the fact that Tom spent the night with another woman, she couldn't bear the sight of it on her finger.

When she heard the door opening her ring was already in the box.

"_Hey"_ he said and closed the door behind him.

"_Good morning"_

"_Can I talk to you?"_

"_I don't want to talk. Just, take this."_ She handed him the box and began walking away from him. He opened his mouth, wanting to say something, anything, but then Penny and Parker came down.

It was only hours after they left, after she finished all the house work, that she let herself break. She was suddenly feeling his absence, like she lost him when she gave away her ring. And she knew she hadn't thought it through, that the decision to give him the ring was simply because she was hurt, because she felt betrayed. She only hoped that a few months from now, once the divorce is final, she wouldn't come to regret this moment. Because it was the first time since they decided to take some time apart that she gave up on trying to fix them, gave up their life together.

Later that day, when he got the kids to bed and sat in his own room, he took the box in hand and just stared at it. He was furious. It's not that he didn't see something like that coming, he just hoped she would give him the chance to explain what she saw. But she wouldn't listen, it was so like her to never listen. Though he just hoped that when it came down to this, when their marriage was on the line, that she wouldn't give up so easily. After all, she was a fighter, that's how he knew her. And giving up like that, he was feeling like all they had didn't really matter to her because she was willing to throw it all away.

"_Damn it!"_ he yelled and threw the box against the wall.

Hours later, when he still couldn't fall asleep, he went to pick it up. He looked at the encryption _"Forever, no matter what"_ and knew that she might have given up on them, but he couldn't. He vowed to be there forever, no matter what, and this wasn't going to break him. It wasn't going to break them. He was the one to leave, but he was now going to be the one to come back.

The next morning when he came over to drop the kids off she was closed up in her bedroom. She was avoiding him and he was well aware of that. That's why he didn't even knock on the door. That's why he leaned against it, not giving her the chance to kick him out. And that's why he wasn't surprised to find her crying. But when he reached out to take her hand, to offer her a hug, and she took so many steps back, that's the moment he realized just how badly he really hurt her. It was at that moment that he knew she wasn't giving up, she was so hurt she was shutting herself in the only way she knew: running away. And it was when he finally took her hand in his that he felt her trembling, like she was afraid of him, like he could break her into pieces if he would only come closer.

It was probably the first time he saw her so vulnerable, so fragile. It was probably the first time he knew he was the one to cause it, and that there was a chance she would never let him fix it.

Because she would never let him close enough to hurt her again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer**: I have no claims for this show, not after what they did to this couple.

A/n at the end.

_Chapter 8: Fall Back To My Knees_

He holds her.

It feels strange to hold her in his arms, like he doesn't belong in this place of comforting her. Not when he's the one who made her cry in the first place. And they're standing in their bedroom, _her_ bedroom, and it's filled with so many memories.

Like their first night in this house. They just moved it and it was a long day. They've been saving up for this house for a long time and finally they could afford it. Not that the fact that she was pregnant with twins left them any choice. They were married for four years and he was pretty certain he knows her well enough. But at that night she couldn't sleep. She kept tossing and turning when eventually she got up. She didn't want to wake him, but she wanted him to wake up; The irony never occurred to her. When she started pacing he finally gave up and turned the light on.

"_Oh god I woke you up, I'm sorry!"_

"_It's okay. What's wrong? Why aren't you sleeping?"_

"_Can't. This house, it's too…"_

"_Big?" _he chuckled.

"_No, no. Never mind, I'm probably just tired."_

He got up and walked over to her. He rested his hands on her cheek and she closed her eyes. _"What is it?"_

She sighed. _"This house is everything I ever dreamed of. When I was a child, I used to hide in my room every time my mom got drunk and I would picture a better place, I would picture a different life. I used to picture the house I would live in, and it looked just like this one. With the nice neighbors and the white picket fence, It's everything my home never was. It's everything I always wanted it to be". _A tear slid down her cheek when she turned her look away from him.

"_Hey, but why are you crying?" _he smiled. Her past was always something that hurt her, and he wanted nothing more than to make it stop. He wanted her memories to stop haunting her; He wanted to promise her a better world every day.

She looked back at him. Her eyes dark, fragile. _"Because dreams never come true"_.

Tom wiped her tears and smiled. Maybe he could fix this. After all, he was a believer. Even when he caught his father cheating, he never lost faith. _"Baby, dreams do come true. Look at us, we're together. We're in this house that is all ours and we're building a life together and forever. Come to bed, dream, and I promise I will do my best to make all your dreams come true."_

She snuggles up closer to him, and it feels strange for her too. Just a moment ago she didn't even want to feel his touch. When he offered her a hand she backed away, like she's scared that he would burn her with his fingers. But now the warmth of his body surrounding her, that sweet smell of his cologne, it was all too much. But when he kissed the top of her head she backed away again. Too much.

"_Lynette… Tell me there's a way to fix this. To fix us."_

"_I wanted to believe there is. God, I wanted so much to believe there is. I was willing to do anything, everything, just to get you back, to get what we had back. But I gave up Tom, because you did."_

"_I didn't. I didn't."_

"_Tom, you're dating someone else."_

"_No I'm not!"_

Lynette snorted. _"So Holly is just a friend, right?"_

"_No, Holly is a client." _She wasn't buying it. She had that look she always had when she didn't believe him. _"Lynette, I went out to dinner with Holly and her husband Jack and with Glenn and his wife. I'm not dating her and I'm not dating any other woman. And if you still don't believe me I would be happy to introduce you to Holly and her family."_

"_Yeah well…"_

"_Well what? You say you're willing to do everything, so can you just for once trust me? I would never date someone else. We both agreed this separation was to resolve our issues. I'm not looking to replace you, I never will."_

"_Because you haven't met the right woman yet. Tom I see how you look at me, I see how unhappy you are. So it's only a matter of time before you find someone you actually like and then…"_

He didn't really know how to respond to that. Truth is he met women. His friends from work tried setting him up with women all the time but he just wasn't interested. Maybe he could do better than her, but he didn't want to. She was everything he ever wanted, everything he ever needed. It took him four months to admit it out loud. But it was the truth.

"_You told me to dream. So I dreamt every night that you will be here forever. I dreamt every night that this thing we had wasn't just too good to be true. But when I woke up I realized dreams never come true, this is that hardest lesson I learned in life Tom. And You promised to prove me wrong. But here we are, and I still dream of you and I, I still dream of our future together, but this is only a dream, one I will never get to live."_

"_Lynette I also told you to give me a chance to make these dreams come true. You came to my office to tell me you miss me and you want me to come back. Well I'm here now. And I want to tell you I miss you too and I want you to let me come back. Please. Will you?"_ When she didn't answer he took her ring out of his pocket. He came closer and took her hand in his. _"I'm not going anywhere. Not without you" _he whispered and placed the ring back where it belonged.

She was crying again. Her mind told her to push him away, to shut herself, to kick him out. To do anything other than to let him back in. Four months she's been crying herself to sleep. Four months of dreaming, hoping, wishing. And now? Can he really promise her forever? Can her really fix what he caused? What if he can't? But her heart, her heart belonged with him. It always had. She knew it from the moment they met. And if anyone could ever heal her, it was him. So maybe it's not forever, but it is now. And now all she wants is _him_.

He kisses her.

He kisses her and he feels home again. He's promising so much with his lips, with no words at all. Just his lips, and his hands wrapped tight around her. And his tongue is brushing over her lips, finding hers, returning to the place where safety is all they both know. They both know they have a lot to work on, because they both want to fix this. But that moment, when he finally stops feeling estranged, when she's finally, openly, admitting she needs him –– Nothing is better than this and this is everything they need. Absolutely everything.

_I let it fall, my heart,__  
><em>_And as it fell you rose to claim it__  
><em>_It was dark and I was over__  
><em>_Until you kissed my lips and you saved me_

_-Fin-_

* * *

><p><strong>An: **First let me apologize. I took way longer than I thought but you can't believe the amount of times I wanted to sit down and write it but had a paper to write instead, or an essay to read, And now I have a test every week but I decided I'm writing it down. So I did. So again, I'm sorry for taking so long!

Second, I want to thank you all for commenting and reading, you make my day!

This is the last chapter of this fic. As the rest of the fic, this chapter is a complete mess. I just hope I did some justice with this couple, because I honestly can't take this break up anymore.

So thank you again for reading and I would appreciate if you comment on this one as well!

-Adi.


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